Asylum: Letters from Shell
by Evil Is Relative
Summary: Former Thalmor Assassin Shell has a lot of living to do and a whole world to explore. She might not have a home to write to, but she does have her star-crossed Paladin lover—well, if Mara would ever revoke her geas preventing them from being together until Shell's experienced the world some, anyway. These are, quite literally, her letters to the only person she cares to write.


**Foreword: None of this will make sense unless you've read Asylum: Rescue, though I suppose Dragon Kin readers might learn a thing or two about Ysmir's eldest sister's personality. This story bridges Rescue and the next one, sort of Shell's self-chronicle to Gideon of her adventures after she runs off. I hope you get as big a kick out of reading it as I did writing it.**

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"My dearest yahoo,

I've been doing some thinking (wonder of wonders, huh?) and decided that your heathen god must be appeased. And—yes, I'm giving this to you in writing—you were right. I don't know what else is out there. Problem is, with you around, I don't care. All I think about is you, and being with you, and I don't really want anything else. And that kind of scares me, if I'm honest. So, off I go, to discover what my options are. Rommy mentioned candlemaking, but the one in Windhelm seemed rather cranky, so I guess I'll be trying that elsewhere. Maybe somewhere warmer. Talon had a list of orphanages the Thalmor were recruiting Young Ones from. Might take those out while I'm at it, and I had a few other little errands to run. I'll be sending you people. At least some of them will have letters, but I'm honestly better at dispatches.

Sorry, _mellani,_ but I feel that I have to do this. I hope you'll forgive me. Do me a favor and toughen Orien up a bit? And keep Blossom from becoming too much of a tyrant?

Salutations are troublesome,  
Shell"  
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"My dearest yahoo,

Should have figured that reprobate would be the first to find me. Not even gone a whole day yet and he's suddenly here, whining about how I left. Gave that little initiate of your order quite the fright (poor boy ran into me in the middle of nowhere. Good thing too, or I would have been really lost. Offered to show me wherever I wanted to go, so long as it wasn't back to Windhelm. Seems to think he's saving you from yourself. It's adorable.)

So, lovely nowhere you've got around here. Sky is gorgeous, wolves seem quite friendly if you're into puncture wounds, and I met some lovely members of something called the Vigilants of Stendarr who were only too happy to regale the three of us on the evils of Daedra. Pretty sure Sam was preparing to sleep with both of them, but I wasn't waiting around. Saved them both from a vampire and a bear. Not quite sure how they got this far on their own.

Ran into that big white dragon from the escape. He seems to be looking for something, but was cagey about what. Some ancient dragon site. He says his mate wants to stay for "it" on Faloniril's estate, but he's not convinced it's safe. I told him if he can get Lili to go back and run the place before someone tries to claim it, he'd be alright. Heck, she'd probably make him steward. He rather liked the idea. He'll probably be by sooner or later. Apparently his mate is "wah keer," whatever that means.

Anyway, we're all parting ways tomorrow. Don't be too hard on the boy if he comes back to you, begging for forgiveness. Poor kid worships the ground you walk on. Pass my regards on to everyone, would you?

Salutations are troublesome,

Shell"

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"Dearest Treenord,

I live. A bunch of Falmer don't. Why the heck are there so many of those things? And they're all so _angry._

Speaking of angry, aren't machines supposedly renowned for their lack of holding your existence against you? Not too sure how I feel about the number of soul gems I've found around here. Things still give me the shivers. Probably they always will.

Closings are troublesome too,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Never ask a Dunmer what a cliffracer is. Those fuckers have sick senses of humor—the bastard said it would be better to show than tell me, then summoned a score ghosts to chase me out of the settlement. Sadly, he will live to regret that.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Met another member of your Order. Small world. Said you were quite cute when you first joined. Shor apparently took pity on you, because he left after only one night of telling me stories. I'll let you guess which ones. Despite being an elf, I now have an official invitation to join the Order of Shor. I look like a fox to drunken elderly Nord paladins, and this was 'a sign.' His squire was very appalled. I offered to teach him how to kiss; he retired for the night with a nosebleed. Apparently, that is all you need to get into your Order—look like a fox and give someone a bloody nose without touching them.

Not an Initiate but that was pretty close,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Stopped by a Temple of Dibella to see if they knew anything about Sanguine Marks and Aedric curses. They do, but they were more interested in other things. I now have invitations to join the Order of Shor and the Priesthood of Dibella. And I think I might have a girlfriend? I'm very confused about the human Divines right now, though I have decided that every human priesthood is equally as mad as you are.

Not a Priestess of Dibella either but that one sounds very interesting,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Finally met a candlemaker. This one was something called a 'Master Candlemaker' and does some fun things with dipping wax. I got rid of a rodent problem for her, and then a bandit problem, so she offered to show me some things. Spent a week with her, but she's not all that enamored of having people around. I intend to visit, though. She reminds me of Lili. Only crankier.

Missing sunshine,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

So, High Rock is almost worse than Alinor. Have a job—trying that 'free agent' thing you mentioned. Kind of miss the racial superiority, though. Thalmor are horrified when I flirt with them—these Bretons keep flirting with me, and they are very, very bad at it. It's sad.

Agent for hire,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Well, Bretons certainly are interesting. I was almost Lady of a small kingdom (how many kingdoms does High Rock _have_?). The job I took was to take out an inefficient ruler to help a coup, only it turned out the lord in question was all of thirteen years old, and just surrounded by incompetent advisors. Sooo, he's down some advisors and a scheming uncle. Helped him find some better people to put in place. He kept trying to get me to stay, but I know nothing about running anything.

Guess I'm not doing the free agent thing. No one was even able to pay me. Other than, you know, proposing marriage to a thirteen year old. No thank you. Might check up on him a few times, though. Just in case he gets himself surrounded by stupidity again. Who knows? Maybe one time he'll actually manage my bill.

Not a Lady now or ever,

Shell"

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"My lovely Treenord,

I have heard complaints about the Orsimer my entire life. People making fun of their 'pig faces,' green skin, and whatever else they want to. I've killed them, but I've never met any. Now I have, and honestly, you Nords are just as bad for stubbornness, the Altmer and Dunmer are twice as insular, and no one makes fun of an Argonian for being green. Their city looks just as well-made as anyone else's; I'd been given the impression they cut their homes out of their mines and slept in holes they dug out for each other every night.

Code of Malacath is just as bad as the Green Pact, though. Suppose I can't really throw stones, being Bosmer and all, even if I'm not indoctrinated. Still, everyone is being fairly welcoming, and for once no one is trying to get into my pants. The Imperials and Bretons could learn a few things about hospitality. Wasn't there an old story about a peacock learning from a pig?

Not well versed in bedtime stories,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

The next person who points out that it's a dry heat is going to get stabbed. Then maybe they'll stop snickering at me and share their secret of getting sand out of everywhere you don't want it, like stockings, or a puncture wound.

Bloody Redguards are almost as haughty as the stupid Altmer, but you should see them with little wax boats.

Caked with sand,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Well, it's nice to be somewhere warm and somewhat civilized again. Too bad I had to run out of there in a hurry. This maiming without killing thing is really irritating, but I had a point to make. No longer sure if it's to them, you, or myself.

We Young Ones sure are durable,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Thalmor sure do like port cities. Got a letter from Lili. Apparently, she really did make Strun her steward. I'm not really surprised. He's settling in well, terrifying everyone that might make a row. A group of Thalmor and nobility that might as well be showed up trying to oust her; 'retirement' they called it. They're trying to pressure her to pick an heir to the estate from 'acceptable' relatives. I'm not sure what all happened, but everyone here is talking about it. I think most of them thought she was long dead, and the stories get wilder and wilder, from her threatening to feed them to Strun to chasing them out the door wielding a screaming fish. Either is likely.

She's asking me about Pearl's father. I think she might be considering her for heir. It's a good choice, I think. You can't tell Pearl has human in her even looking for it. Pearl would probably think it bothersome, though.

Oh, and tell Oda-however-you-spell-his-name that Yol is settling in the grotto well. She loves the warm sand and water, and he should have a little sibling sometime next decade.

And I thought nine months was a long time,

Shell"

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"Dearest Yahoo,

I missed this area more than I thought I did. Centaurs, less so.

Apparently not how you play horseshoes,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Met up with Talon and Shade today. They made a friend out here in the middle of nowhere, imagine that. He's...I'm not going to lie, I had a Telki-like urge to wrap a blanket around him. First time I've had a mead since leaving Skyrim, though, and he was willing to loan me some beeswax when I got bored. He doesn't talk all that much, but his little Khajiit friend chattered enough for him, Shade, and her Alfiq uncle combined.

Didn't know you could do that with bees,

Shell"

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"Dearest Yahoo,

You Nords really need to burn your dead or something. They are angrier than the cliffracers and falmer combined. That is all I really care to say about today.

The draugr say hello and fuck you,

Shell"

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"My dearest reminder of my ancestral home,

Met a thief today. He was very disturbed to find that I had followed him into the house he was robbing, went through the house right behind him, and back out again. Funniest thing I've seen all week. Other than that, not much has happened.

Why are the trees here all prickly?

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Made some friends, kinda. Their house stinks—entire city stinks, really—but I've been in worst places. Went to a Temple of Mara and tried the praying thing. Don't know what I was expecting, but an hour long lecture by one of the priests on distracting the other guests by yelling at an Aedra wasn't on the list. In my defense, there was no one there when I started.

This thing is really getting to me,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

I really wish Sam would warn me before popping in, unannounced, in Daedric form. The Vigilants of Stendarr that were walking behind me did not take that nicely. On a completely unrelated note, why does everyone assume that I am willing to eat people just because I look Bosmer? Just a hypothetical. Really. And seriously, start burning your dead. And the falmer.

I hate this city.

Shell"

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"Dearest Yahoo,

Forsworn are very weird. Stop a bunch of young idiots from taking horrible advantage of a stupidly naive Redguard girl that likes skinnydipping and they all want to kill you, but only until you return their lost goat. And stop a bunch of Nord guards from slaughtering their way to the Sybil of Dibella, who actually didn't care for being rescued. And make friends with a Hag by killing her sister.

With friends like these, who needs the Thalmor?

Shell"

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"Dearest Yahoo,

In hindsight, maybe we all should leave Blackmarsh to the Argonians.

Soggy,

Shell"

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"Treenord,

You all need to stop wearing horns on your helmets. For one, it makes them very easy to pull off, for another, it makes for some awkward moments with minotaurs.

There's an utter joke in here somewhere,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Discovered this thing called 'marshmallow' from Morrowind and eastern Cyrodiil. Please keep my siblings away from it. They will love it but it's been a week and I still can't get it all out of my hair. Someone suggested ice. Guess I'm going north again.

Sticky,

Shell"

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"Dear Yahoo,

Really ought to stick to passes, even with a guide. There was a new wave of Dragon Cultists thanks to the new wave of dragons this past decade. Was.

Not as crispy as they wanted,

Shell"

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"I. Hate. Bears. Met a roving band of Thalmor. Introduced them to the bears."

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"Dear Treenord,

Talon's on his way back to Windhelm. Met up with him at one of the old rendezvous points. Looks like all the others that have a home to go back to are on their way. Wonder what he's going to do with himself now? It's funny, I used to be so scared of him, but now he's almost comforting to be around? He must have been in Cyrodiil; he brought some oranges for my siblings and mother. He let me have one, too. We talked a bit. Apparently Shade decided to stay with that nice beekeeper we met in Cyrodiil. I hope he's happy.

I'm taking some of this over now, too. Wish me luck,

Shell"

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"Dearest Yahoo,

I'm not sure if I met my new best friend or my arch-nemesis today. You wouldn't think so, but Talon knows some fascinating people. I helped her make some deliveries and we bitched quite amicably about some mutual acquaintances.

Does all curly hair have a mind of its own?

Imperial prisons need some work,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Do you know what a siltstrider is? It's a really tall bug that makes beautiful noises. They're almost extinct. Tell Rommy to save the musical bugs for me, would you? I want twelve and I'm pretty sure my siblings will want twice that many apiece.

Ash in places I didn't know I had,

Shell"

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"Dearest Treenord,

So. Many. Bees. That was certainly different.

Covered in honey and not in a good way,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

So...Vampires. Am I just always finding them when they're hungry, or are they all that cranky? I suppose Mara doesn't really hate me after all; she kept me from turning into one. Most stressful two days I've spent since Uncle was alive.

Not a bloodsucking fiend,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Heard from Tim lately? I went to check something out, and need to talk to him. You know what's funny, though? The very Legion I was going to infiltrate tried to recruit me. How times have changed.

My general was kinda cute, too, but he wasn't you,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Ran into a werewolf today. Surprisingly polite. Wished me a good day and everything. So far, I like werewolves a lot better than vampires.

What's next, unicorns? Oh, wait...

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Bandit called me cute today. Eviscerated him. The half dozen people he was guarding split the rest of what he was guarding and went on their way. His friends did not like this, so I got to practice my archery. I might have to get Telki to show me how she does it, because that is one thing I've never really been able to pick up. My chain lightning still gets the job done though.

This place is so nice and warm,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Draugr. They ruined my whole day. And my tunic. Why did nobody warn me what happens when they're shambling about a place with water in it? I'm gagging just writing about it.

Needing new armor,

Shell"

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"Dearest yahoo,

Never going to Solstheim again, ever. Creepy place, weird dreams, and ash in everywhere snow is not? I'll pass. Reassuring lack of cliffracers, though.

They say idle hands make mischief but this is ridiculous,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

I wish I had left Solstheim after that last letter. You know what else Solstheim has besides ash? EXPLODING FUCKING SPIDERS. There wasn't going to be another boat for more than a week, so I bought and made about a hundred pounds worth of potions and walked to Morrowind.

Waterlogged,

Shell"

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"Dearest yahoo,

You know what I hate about Dwemer ruins? EVERYTHING. And this one had ghosts, to top it off. Just what I needed. I hope you're happy with me trying the good person thing, because I was so close to going back and throwing that cube at that lizard's head I was mildly shocked she didn't have a dent from wishful thinking.

See what you meant about those Centurions. Pass my admiration on to Telki,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Spent some time in actual, good-sized trees again. Was surprised to find I missed them. Also forgot how awkward it is staying with Green Pact Bosmer. Thank literally every Aedra the people I needed to meet didn't mind meeting me at the edge of the Forest…

Visiting roots in more ways than one,

Shell"

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"My dearest yahoo,

Met someone that reminded me a little of you, only less polite when drunk. He was very apologetic when he woke up, but you Nords must have some kind of weird fascination for women that stab you, because he followed me around like a puppy for the entire day. I had to sneak out of town that night just to get away from him. I hope I didn't rattle what little was in his brainpan, but that behavior that second day was just weird.

On the bright side, Shade and his new boyfriend are getting on well.

Leaving this place in a hurry,

Shell"

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"Dear Treenord,

Have I mentioned how much I hate bears? Because I really hate bears. I'm thinking of making a collection of bear pelt hats and presenting them to Orien and Blossom and possibly the entire Stormcloak army by the time I'm done. In other news...What is a Dawnguard and how do I get them to give me a crossbow?

I don't know how to close this,

Shell"

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" _Mellani,_

Sorry it's been so long since I wrote. A lot has happened. A lot. Not proud of everything I did to solve it, and it didn't even work. I suppose I'll have to tell you about it sometime.

I have a new scar.

Shell"

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"Dearest Treenord,

Did you know falmer used to write? They had a whole other culture before they were poisoned. They scare me on a whole new level now. They used to be elves. They don't even need a black soul gem anymore. It's like the Dwemer took them and turned them into goblins, into less than people. It...it reminded me of home.

I don't think I'll be going in Dwemer ruins anymore.

Shell"

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"Dear Gideon,

You know what people think is security? Having the main entrance be on the second floor of a building with a trapped stair that has to be lowered. You know what's really easy for a Bosmer to get into? A second story.

Chillrend is pretty and I'm keeping it. I have no idea what your legends on it are, but it's mine now, and I am keeping it very shiny. Oh, and tell Telki and Tyr I met someone else with purple eyes. She's very pretty, but I think she's still grieving her old lover.

I'm going to be doing something very dangerous tomorrow. I wish I had time to see you again before we do this, but we don't have that luxury. If I don't write in the next month, assume I won't.

Sorry, _mellani,_ but I think this is something I have to do.  
Shell"


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